Amadon DellErba discusses “The Pursuit to Balanced Masculinity.” Part two of a two-part podcast. Part I was released as Episode 4.
In this episode, Amadon discusses men's lack of willingness to be disliked, high standards, and failure. Balanced masculinity is a practice of self control. He encourages men to be bold and manly, courageous, protectors and providers.
Society has much to learn about manliness. Amadon talks about "Boys Don't Cry" mentality and how it cripples men-becoming from expressing their emotions appropriately.
Amadon talks about chauvinistic/patriarchal wrong-thinking and the need to treat women with respect. He honors the women of his life, especially his mother, Niann Emerson Chase, for nurturing his respect for all that is sacred.
Amadon gives a brief introduction to the concept of balanced father- and mother-circuitry as taught in The Cosmic Family Volumes. Merging gentleness and strength is the balance of masculine/feminine circuitry.
Hey tribe, this is episode five of my “Get Real or Die Trying” podcast. Today. I'm talking about The Pursuit to Balanced Masculinity. This is actually part two of a podcast I did last week, which was episode four when I started my talk on The Pursuit to Balanced Masculinity and I really got going on it. So I'm releasing it in two parts. So episode four last week was part one. This week is part two; enjoy episode five of Get Real or Die Trying. I'm talking about the pursuit to balance masculinity.
“Nothing You Do Matters Unless What You Do Matters”
I’m Amadon DellErba and this is “Get Real or Die Trying”
Men today are afraid because they want to be liked. Another huge mistake. The fear of being disliked. The fear of saying things that's gonna create separation. Don't be afraid to be disliked. I have so many people who disagree with me, who dislike me, but I also have so many people who respect me, who admire me, who love me, and know that I'm trying and know that I'm attempting to live by these higher spiritual principles.
You see, it's easy to set low standards and live down here—to live here—and to live by these principles and to not fail because you don't have high standards. It takes courage to live up here in the higher principles where you can fail; where I fail every day, I don't meet the mark, I don't quite get where I want to get. So I can go to bed at the end of the day thinking, wow, I really failed in that situation. That takes courage—to live a life where you're willing to go to bed and realize where you failed in that day because you set a high standard.
That high standard was set for me by my elders, and by primarily my father my whole life. So I'm constantly in pursuit of that high standard, of that summit of living. And it's not easy. There is no “arrival”. There is no divine masculine where you're suddenly perfect. If there's somebody on the internet right now telling you they can teach you how to be divinely masculine, and that you're going to be there, and you do this and do that, and all of a sudden your divine masculinity, they're full of shit.
It's a daily practice. It's a daily self control. It's a daily ability to have the old self die. In America, Western culture, and really all over the world actually, we have a very distorted concept of what it is to be a man and to be manly. And so most men actually have to spend a tremendous amount of time unlearning; unlearning all of the bullshit that they picked up, unlearning all of the false concepts… “Men don't cry.” Starting from little boys. Little boy hurts himself... “Don't cry. Men don't cry. Men don't cry.” That's not true. When you associate tears with weakness, you send a message to that little boy the whole life that he's weak if he cries. Now, it's not the tears themselves, it's the tapping into the emotions and expressing emotion all of a sudden is communicated to that little boy that he's weak if he expresses emotion.
So men grow up becoming terrible communicators. Their partners...they don't know how to be vulnerable and have a conversation and communicate with their partners their emotions and their feelings because they grew up being taught, “men are stoic, men don’t show their emotions. Men don't cry.” Again, I'm not saying that you have to cry to show your emotions, but as the associations of tears with emotions. So men don’t know how to express their emotions, they don't know how to tap into their emotions. They don't know how to be vulnerable. That's a problem. It's a huge problem.
I, luckily, grew up in a household where I was taught that; that it was accepted. I grew up with a father who was very hard on me. He taught me how to be a man, but he never diminished me. He never put me down for my sensitive side. It's okay to be a man and be sensitive, and to be gentle. It's okay. But you have to be balanced. If you're just sensitive and gentle and you don't have any strength associated with that gentleness—you don't have any logical, decisive action associated with your sensitivity—you're out of balance. You have to have both. You have to know when to control your emotions, your sensitivity, what to do with your sensitivity, make decisions based on that sensitivity and the intuition. Merge it with the spiritual logic and make the best decision in that moment to serve the people around you, to serve yourself.
But men need to be protectors. For far too long men have not outgrown the archaic and primitive desire to conquer, to kill, to take over, to be in control of all things. Men need to be protectors. They need to be servants of all.
But for me personally, I want to see men be bold. I want to see men be strong. I want to see men who are not afraid to say what needs to be said in certain situations and not worry about being liked, not worry about their ego being crushed because somebody comes up against what they're saying and disagrees with them. Look, there's always going to be somebody disagreeing with you. When you have an ideal and a principal and a belief, especially that you live by, there's always going to be someone who disagrees. Get over it. You can't please everybody.
So thus comes in the importance of spirituality. This is where the importance of having a spiritual belief comes in, to me, because any balanced man has to have some type of spiritual belief; has to be in pursuit of the spiritual nature to overcome the human nature. I talked about this in my first episode. My life is the duality of human nature or spiritual nature. That's the pursuit of self-mastery. That's what “getting real” is; our spiritual nature controlling, and overriding, and working with our human nature. You see, our human nature doesn't always respond in the highest way, but our spiritual nature will.
As men, our animal, human nature is not always correct. It's aggression, it's anger, it's to conquer, it's to suppress. But our spiritual nature is to protect, to love, to serve, to be an example. And so whether you're an atheist or not, you can tap into high spiritual morals. I personally think—based upon my own life and my personal experience, and those people in my life and my elders who I respect and help me to grow—that you have to have a personal relationship with the Creator. I don't care what you call the Creator. It could be Allah, it could be God, could be John Wayne, could be whatever. I'm not saying you have to be a part of a religion; or an antiquated, dogmatic boxed in evolutionary religion that we have on the planet today. But you have to have an understanding of the Creator to, I feel, really bring in the spirituality to help harness your soul. To help harness the manly qualities that you need to harness to help bring forth the manly qualities to live a life of balance.
I want to talk a little bit more about the responsibility that we have as men to change the way that we view and treat women in this world; because a lot of harm is done and there is a spiritual connection to how we treat and view women and the mother circuitry, and the divine feminine, and the feminine nature of things. There's a connection to that and how we treat mother earth and the planet itself. There's a disconnect. We see women as an object that we take. We see the earth as an object that we take from; that we control, that we rape, pillage, and take whatever we want from. Men on this planet for centuries have been taking advantage of the earth and taking advantage of women.
And I speak knowing this because I've made mistakes myself in my consciousness—have made mistakes in how I see women—all of us men have. We see women in the wrong way. And so at some point millions of men need to change the way they view women. I really feel that over night there'll be a spiritual, global consciousness awakening if millions of men could do that. And it does then correlate to how we see the beautiful, feminine nature of mother earth, and how we take from this earth; how we destroy the earth. And it's usually men who are in charge of the world regimes on this planet who take, pillage, and murder, and take advantage of recklessly of mother nature, and all that mother nature has to offer, that this beautiful earth has to offer.
We do the same thing with women and it's a tragedy, and it's wrong, and we need to stop as men. We need to take accountability, responsibility. And it's okay to realize that you're a part of the problem. It's painful and it's okay and it's necessary. It's necessary to realize that every man on this planet is a part of the problem. Because if you had a wrong thought about a woman, if you had a wrong action...you're part of the problem. So we need to raise our sons correctly. Fathers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, husbands need to raise the people in their lives—the young men in their lives—responsibly and in a new way. Raise their sons to respect women, to respect mother nature, to respect the sacredness of life, to respect the sacred. A common saying, “respect the sacred”. To define what is sacred. A mother gives life. A mother raises, a mother carries life in her womb; that is sacred. Mother nature harbors so much life and is sacred.
And so, if this world is going to last for the seven generations and the many, many generations to come—if mother nature is going to last—we have to start changing the consciousness of the little men coming up. Obviously the women, too, have to change certain things about how they view the earth, but men have more responsibility because it's men who live recklessly. It's men who take without concern. It's men who've hurt, who have harmed, who have used their physical strength and power to harm women and the earth. And so, I take responsibility as a man and commit to a new way of living, and I try every day. And I'm thankful for my mother because she taught me at a young age in life to respect nature.
Some of my fondest memories are taking walks with my mother in Sedona, Arizona in nature, in the forest along Oak Creek, and her pointing out the name of plants, the names of flowers, the names of birds—teaching me to respect creation, teaching me to cherish it, to love it, to appreciate it. I'd be a young little boy and pick up a stick and start beating the bushes and she would say, “Why are you doing that? That's a living thing. Why are you breaking the branches on this bush? Why are you chopping the heads off the flowers with that stick?” As an unregulated little 8 year old or 10 year old or whatever I was; and she taught me that. My mother taught me to respect creation. Most women have taught me that, not men, except for my father. But you know what I'm saying...that men don't naturally do that. Men are taught wrong—to take advantage of creation, to try and control creation.
So respect your elders, respect your women, your grandmothers, your mothers, people in your life who teach you these things. My mother has taught me more about being a man than any other woman I know. And she taught me by being a balanced woman, for one, but also teaching me gentleness and teaching me respect for life. So a conscious man has respect for life. A conscious man treats life carefully and gently. And I fail sometimes, but the words of my mother come back into my consciousness. When I go out into nature, my appreciation and recognition of every flower, every leaf falling, comes from my mother, and I value that, and I respect that nurturing mother spirit in nature.
I want to talk now about circuitry and the divine circuitry that each one of us human beings have within us. The principles I'm referring to are taught in the books, The Cosmic Family volumes, which are the papers of the continuation of The URANTIA Book. The URANTIA Book is a book that I've studied my whole life and is one of the guiding spiritual texts of my spiritual and religious life and the continuing papers of The URANTIA Book—The Cosmic Family volumes are part of that.
The Cosmic Family volumes talk about circuitry—Father circuitry, Mother circuitry, Son circuitry. If you're a man, you need to have balanced Father circuitry. If you're a woman, you need to have balanced Mother circuitry. Son circuitry is utilized by both men and women. Father circuitry is also utilized by both men and women, and so is Mother circuitry.
To me, the easiest way to explain it is it's about percentages. If you're a man, you should be operating in a higher percentile of the Father circuitry. If you're a woman, in a higher percentile of the Mother circuitry. Understanding how these circuitries go through our body and how we dwell in them, how we operate from them, is a long and huge subject, which we'll probably talk about more in my various podcasts. But The Cosmic Family volumes is a revelation that has really helped me to understand and helped many, many others in how to tap into their circuitry. And I need to have Mother circuitry in my life because I myself am a very strong man—some people would consider an alpha man, a dominant man—and so I have seemingly no problem to tap into my Father circuitry, my masculine circuitry. I need to begin to balance out and really tap into my Mother/Son circuitry.
Some men dominate more in their Mother circuitry and need to learn to tap into their Father circuitry more, but there has to be a balance. And to me it's again, percentiles and ratio. I don't have the answer to what the exact percentile is, but if you're 10% Father circuitry and 90% Mother circuitry and you're a man—you're not in balance. And so I encourage you to look up these books, check them out online, global change tools.org. You can find the books online there, buy them. There's going to be an e-book coming out soon.
But, I'm always praying to have balanced circuitry. Again, I fail all the time and I have people in my life, elders in my life, and a lot of women in my life to remind me when I fail, which I'm thankful for. In the moment, my ego may be bruised. In the moment, my egotistical reaction may not be perfect or right, but when I walk away, and if I can humble myself, to take it to the Creator, I can be corrected. And you can too. And so, this is a plea to all men to man up. This is a plea to men in a call to be courageous; to do what needs to be done in your life personally. That's going to vary for each person. If you're some guy in an apartment in New York city and you have a girlfriend and you're not providing, and you're not living your life in the highest way, and she's making all the decisions and you're not taking action in protecting her and providing for her—think about how you can. That's it—think about how can you...start there, start with your significant other that you spend the most time with. “How can I shift and take action, be decisive, make decisions, take control of the environment in a good way around me to make it better.” If you're sitting around and you're afraid to do that, you're not being manly. It's that simple.
What is it going to take? For you? For me? For all of us men to have a spiritual awakening; a consciousness awakening; a needed, needed awakening to change the way we live our lives? Like I said before, I think it's integral that spirituality is a part of it. It can’t just be morality, it can't just be concepts...because man's nature is animal nature, and that has to be overcome with spiritual nature. It’s the easiest way I can say it. So my friends, that is my spiel. That is what I know. That is what I'm learning...as a lot of what I said is what I don't know, because there's probably many things that I've still yet to learn. Maybe in a few months I'll talk again. But, I encourage all men out there to start taking seriously the role of being a manly man, being authoritative when you need to be. Being corrective, being protective, realizing that strength is accompanied by gentleness. True strength is not afraid to be gentle, and that is something that we have to learn.
So my fellow brothers out there, my fellow fathers, my fellow men...it's time for us all to make changes in our lives personally. It's time for us to take a stand against weakness, against not caring, against apathy, against chauvinistic thinking, against patriarchal wrong-thinking of dominance. It's time to be willing to change ourselves, and it's time to be vulnerable and to be spiritually true; and it's time for us to start defining what it means in our own lives personally.
How do we merge the two beautiful things of gentleness and strength? Because what I see in this world is men are either too gentle, and not strong; or they're too strong, and not gentle enough. So let's be examples of merging gentle strength.
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