Amadon DellErba discusses the lower human traits of envy and jealousy and how they can be blind spots in our growth. Using multiple sources, he examines what great minds of the past have said about the vice of envy.
He also explores the virtues of honor and recognition, and the value of having elders in your life, assisting you in the removal of lower traits and weaknesses. Amadon honors his own primary elders and teachers, Gabriel of Urantia and Niánn Emerson Chase, and their influence on his life.
Amadon discusses the connection between envy/jealousy and insecurity/low self-esteem while posing questions about who we envy and why. He talks about the importance of ridding ourselves of these lower patterns in order to allow for a greater degree of unity, collaboration, cooperation, and honor with other people. Becoming more real and helping other people around us be more real.
Hey tribe, welcome to my show, Get Real or Die Trying. This is Episode 2, Envy is Weakness, Honor is Strength.
I wanted to spend a little time talking about envy and jealousy, for I feel it is a lower human trait in weakness and lower emotion that sometimes we as human beings do not spend enough time identifying... and then eradicating. Of course, we'll talk about what I feel is the opposite of envy, which is honor and recognition of others.
So why Envy? Why is envy important to understand? Why is envy important to see in ourselves and try to change? For me personally, I have been the subject of envy and I have been the culprit of envy. And I have balanced both to help me to understand why it is important for me, personally, to remove envy from my consciousness, from my doing, from my thinking, from my being. And why it prevents me, actually, from becoming who I need to become, who I want to become, who I can become, and really fulfill the potential of myself.
So envy and jealousy... you know, I think we as human beings can easily have trite things that we are jealous of and envious of in other people. Oftentimes we become envious and jealous of people who have things that we want. Whether it's in a field of a profession, or a talent that we want... sometimes it's just simple, and unfortunately, as trite as physical things. They have a car that we want. They have the house that we want. People who are in different professions can envy people in those same professions who are more accomplished, more seemingly successful, who have acquired more, who’re recognized more by others for their talents and abilities
It's a sad thing because I've actually met very accomplished people, very successful people, on the top in their different fields and areas of their professions and they still have envy within them, of people beneath them (so to speak) of where they haven't gotten to. You see this a lot in Hollywood. You see this a lot in artists and you see this with people who have talents and abilities to entertain people. You see it in fields of scientists, of authors, pretty much anybody. And I've always found it fascinating (and unfortunately not fascinating in a beautiful way) but fascinating in a way of trying to understand the human psyche in this psychology and the spiritual weakness behind envy.
I wanted to read a few quotes from minds far greater than mine throughout history who've identified a great understanding around envy. First actually is interesting, in my first show last week I talked about and read a quote, Wolfgang Goethe, he's an incredible philosopher and I happened to stumble across another quote this week reading him and that I found was perfect for the theme of envy that I'm discussing. He says:
“Hatred is active and envy, passive dislike. There is but one step from envy to hate.”
One step from envy to hate. Now, it's easy to identify for some and we can talk about, “Oh, that person is full of hatred.” Well right behind hatred and right before you get to the place of hatred in your heart, soul, and mind is envy. It's one step away.
The Italian scholar and poet Francesco Petrarch said this:
“Five enemies of peace inhabit with us--avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride. If these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.”
It's interesting that he mentions ambition because ambition is often linked to envy. Ambition and anger are very close. He also mentions anger and hatred, they’re all together. Envy leads to these things. Having a lot of ambition without regulation, without purity of mind, heart, and soul, can lead to envy.
In the URANTIA Book, a simple statement is made, that is quite profound.
“Envy is a deep-seated human trait.”
In the continuation of The URANTIA Book, published after The URANTIA Book, in the Cosmic Family Volumes, another statement:
“Envy and jealousy are two of the most difficult things to recognize in oneself.”
So why is it so hard to recognize Envy within our self? Why is it so hard to recognize our own weakness? It takes strength. It takes courage to recognize that we have these faults within ourselves.
I want to read now Rodan of Alexandria, the great Greek philosopher as chronicled in The URANTIA book, from the paper “The Art of Living.” Rodan says:
“Successful living is nothing more or less than the art of the mastery of dependable techniques for solving common problems. The first step in the solution of any problem is to locate the difficulty, to isolate the problem, and frankly to recognize its nature and gravity. The great mistake is that, when life problems excite our profound fears, we refuse to recognize them. Likewise, when the acknowledgment of our difficulties entails the reduction of our long-cherished conceit, the admission of envy, or the abandonment of deep-seated prejudices, the average person prefers to cling to the old illusions of safety and to the long-cherished false feelings of security. Only a brave person is willing honestly to admit, and fearlessly to face, what a sincere and logical mind discovers.”
What a great quote from Rodan of Alexandria. That's in The URANTIA Book, once again. So he's talking about there, overcoming these lower patterns. He's talking that, it takes a brave person with honesty to see these things within ourselves. So for me, I feel that when we can have this rhetoric of, “Oh, I'm becoming a better person... and I'm working on my self-love... and my self-care... and I'm just really going within.” That's all great, but if you want to be real and you want to be solid in your approach to ridding yourself of weakness, it's not always so pleasant. It can be quite uncomfortable.
So with envy I would encourage you to take a minute and think in your life, “Wow, who am I envious of? Who am I jealous of? And then spend some time trying to figure out what you admire about that person. What is it perhaps that they have that you don't have? What is it perhaps that they are doing, that you're not doing? What is it perhaps that they are thinking, feeling, and acting upon? What have they achieved that you have not achieved? What can you do now to achieve those things that they have achieved?
So Rodan says, “The average person prefers to cling to the old illusions of safety into the long cherished false feelings of security.” That line, to me, makes me consider the possibility in myself of being completely blind to my envious thinking, my jealous thinking, my wrong thinking. In order to change something within yourself, you have to come to the consciousness that it is wrong, the absoluteness that it is wrong. You see, some things in life are more absolute than others. Weak people don't like to draw the hard lines within their minds and their souls about what is right and what is wrong. They don't like to draw the hard lines. What I have found, personally is in order to change something, I have to draw a hard line. “This is wrong, I'm not going to do it anymore. This is wrong, I am not going to do it anymore.”
So, we become used to and accustomed to thinking a certain way, acting a certain way, being a certain way. And that way that we are accustomed to being, may not be the best. It may not be the most efficient and spiritually responsible way to live our lives. How do we know this? How do we and when do we find out, “Oh wow, all of my thinking is wrong. What I'm doing is not working for me or for anybody around me.” When do we find that out?
Well my friends, this is where the introduction to a very important concept that we all need to have in our mindset comes into our lives. Elders. Spiritual teachers. Mentors. We need to have people in our lives and around us who correct us, who help us, who point out to us our flaws and our weaknesses and illustrate to us the pictures and the actions that we are blind to. We need to have elders.
As a young man myself, I'm blessed to have elders. So many people run from elders and I always find it interesting because when you get to a point where you want to grow, you want to ascend, you want to be the best that you can be, you want to become great, you then realize that you need help with that. You need people to assist you.
It’s not just the romanticized idea that we have of “an elder,” some guru in India in an orange robe. Somebody with a long white beard and long hair and the prayer beads. Some supposed “spiritual person.” Our elders could be many, many people in our lives. They could be someone who has more humility, and virtue, and sincerity than us. It could be the person who cleans your house. It could be the person who mows your lawn. It could be a relative. It could be a co-worker. And we must become more open to receiving counsel and feedback from those elders.
Circling back to envy, oftentimes our elders are the ones that we envy. What a terrible thing. What a terrible thing that we envy people who have learned and outgrown
things that we have not, yet. So instead of envying our elders and being jealous of them and their accomplishments and what they've accomplished, the mental spiritual consciousness planes of existence that they have gotten to that we haven't yet. Instead of envying that, let us honor that. Let us recognize that.
I have many elders in my life. I'm blessed that my two existing parents, Gabriel of Urantia and Niann Emerson Chase, are first and foremost my primary elders and spiritual teachers and guides, and they are for many people. So I'm in a blessed position there, but that doesn't mean that there aren't other people who are my elders and teach me things every day that I don't know.
The other thing about recognizing someone who knows more than you is it takes a bit of spiritual maturity and humility and it takes flexibility in the moment. So you have to be willing to submit to their higher knowledge, to their higher wisdom, to their higher virtue and release your’s, your opinion, your thinking. So, what am I talking about? I'm talking about being real. Being real, because this is realness here when we talk about spirituality. I don't hear a lot of people and a lot of gurus and a lot of self-help people saying, “Cut envy out of your soul. Go through the hard process of cutting out jealousy.” They're talking about fluffy, easy to digest, easy to understand concepts that feel good, but it doesn't feel good to say, “Hey, you're jealous of the very person that you should be honoring and recognizing.”
We could remove spirituality completely from the picture. You could be an athlete. You're a new rookie, okay? You're a football player. You're a rookie. It's your first year on an NFL team. You're good enough to be a professional, but it's your first year and you're a rookie and you're a wide receiver. The veteran who's been playing for five years probably has more skills, more experience, and is better than you. Why be jealous of them? Why not honor their accomplishments? Why not recognize their skill sets? Why not learn from them, submit to that process of learning instead of being envious and jealous of where they've gotten to? That's just a very simple example, for people who don't even think ‘spiritually,’ that it's a common thing that happens.
You're an actor. You've made movies. You're very accomplished. Why be jealous of another actor who's coming up the ladder who's not famous, who's not recognized? Why be jealous of them? You've already made it. Why not support them? Why not use your talents, ideas, and abilities to support somebody else and to aid them in their destiny purpose?
So, another thing that I think relates very closely to envy and jealousy is low self-esteem, insecurity, not knowing who you are, not knowing yourself truly. When you have this low self-esteem, you're jealous and you're envious of people who do have those things more than you. Again, it's a simple flip of the mind and the consciousness to then say, “Wow, this person has what I need to have more of. How can I approach this person and learn from them and honor them and ask them to guide me?” Wouldn't you want to rid yourself of that weakness and come into strength?
Introduce the concept of honor and recognition is strength. Envy is Weakness. Honor is strength. Honoring somebody else. Having honor, and being an honorable person directly relates to having the ability to honor someone else to recognize someone else. So that's my spiel on envy versus recognition and honor. I encourage you to maybe walk away from this thinking, “Who is it that I may be jealous of? And who is it that I may need to honor more in my life?” Could be the same person, could be different people what a beautiful opportunity to re-evaluate your relationships, to reevaluate your actions in context to other people in your life that you may be completely blind to because you don't have your teacher in high school saying, “Hey, you need to get rid of your jealousy of your fellow classmate.” You don't have that, unfortunately, some do, but it's not a common thing to have spiritual guides; people who are bettering your emotional bodies and minds or spiritual bodies and minds.
So let's come into more spiritual maturity together. I'm right there with you. I'm asking myself, “Wow, who is it in my life that I need to honor more? Who is it that I need to recognize for what they've brought into my being?” Because, I am who I am because of the mixture of many, many beautiful gifts from everybody else. I'm also who I am because of the recognition of everybody else of who I am in my soul. My soul wants to recognize your soul, doesn't want to be jealous and envious of you and what you've accomplished. It wants to recognize you.
Great men miss out on the opportunity of teamwork and coming together because of jealousy of each other in competition and envy. Great souls who should be working together... it happens in men a lot, happens in women.. And we can be jealous of such trite things. Women can be jealous that another woman is more beautiful. A man can be jealous if another man who’s supposedly more handsome and charismatic and confident. And so that jealousy prevents them from connecting. That jealousy prevents them from uniting.
So the Union of Souls and the connection and the collaboration and the cooperation of human beings on this planet is important. What is it that you need to do to rid yourself of the lower emotions, the lower traits, that prevent you from finding unity, collaboration, cooperation, and honor with other people in your life? Think about that. That will help you be more real. It will help other peoplearound you be more real.
This is episode 2 of Get Real or Die Trying, I'm Amadon DellErba, thanks for listening.